By: Jennifer Beach, LSW, MA, C-SWCM
It is the time of year that most people look forward to. The hustle and bustle and many traditions, including preparing special foods, decorating, gift giving, and gathering with family and friends. And yet, we may find ourselves not as excited and feeling a bit overwhelmed or even melancholy this holiday season, especially if you are caring for, and/or see changes in a loved one. While we can recognize, understand and willingly except change in many areas of our lives, somehow this time of year can be the most difficult.
If you have a loved one or friend with dementia, you probably have already learned how to adapt and do things a little differently. This holiday season may require you to rethink and rework some traditions or family rituals, and this can be difficult. COVID-19 in 2020 and 2021 forced many of us to accept and change our holidays. We were all experiencing the loss of the way things were; our “normal” traditions and routines had to be adjusted.
Unfortunately, for those managing the challenges of dementia or other progressive medical conditions, they do not get the opportunity to return to “normal.” If you or someone you know is assisting or caring for a loved one with dementia or other medical challenges, it is important to recognize that it is normal to miss the loss of your simple routines, connections, traditions, and the way life used to be with your loved one. Here are some ways we can begin to accept the changes:
First, begin with yourself:
- Recognize you are experiencing loss in many ways
- Practice taking care of yourself
- Find someone you can talk to
- Accept the holiday season is going to look and feel different
- Try something completely different this holiday season
Ways to help others caring for a loved one:
- Encourage others to express what they are feeling. There is no right or wrong in what they feel.
- Ask them what they miss this holiday season.
- Even though their loved one is facing the challenges of dementia or another progressive medical conditions it is still OK for them to laugh, to feel good and to have fun.
- Talk about one small thing they can start doing for themselves, such as writing a letter, journaling, taking a walk, trying a new recipe, or reading a new book.
- Recognize the holiday season this year will be different. Help them come up with something new they could do or try this year.
- Just sit, listen and be present with someone.
Many of the topics I talk about in this column regarding caring for a loved one require us to think about our own attitudes, outlooks, how we respond and accept changes in our lives. It’s okay to miss the traditions we once shared but we also must find new ways to be with our loved ones this holiday season.
Simple ideas to consider :
- Watch a holiday movie
- Play holiday music they may enjoy
- Color or make simple decorations/cards
- Bake cookies
- Take a drive to look at decorations/lights
- Simplify plans and expectations
- Pare down decorations
- Limit the number of people coming at one gathering
- Have small meals and activities over several days instead of one big day
Make the most out of this holiday season, no matter how different things may be. Your willingness to adapt and accept change may be the best gift for you and your loved one.
Original Article: https://www.northeastohioboomer.com/blogs/ready-or-not-the-holidays-are-here/