By: Jennifer Beach, LSW, MA, C-SWCM
Like many Americans in their sixties, Kelly and Tim have been managing and adapting to these strange new times we have all been thrown into since last March.
The safety protocols implemented to protect ourselves and our loved ones from COVID-19 have changed many aspects of our lives. Juggling new and different ways to work, including learning to work from home — often with kids or grandkids all under the same roof — is challenging for many. There are now virtual appointments, virtual meetings, virtual school, even virtual happy hours. Additionally, one of the biggest changes and challenges Kelly and Tim face is caring for their parents.
Kelly’s father relocated from another state a year ago. After careful research, planning, and timing, Kelly moved her dad to an assisted living facility only three miles from their home. The perfect solution — her dad would have all the benefits assisted living offered, and she could easily stop by his place, and have him over for Sunday dinners. Best of all, Kelly and Tim could now sleep at night.
In March, all this changed for Kelly and for so many others. Her dad was no longer allowed to leave his apartment and no one was permitted in. She called daily, had her kids call, wrote cards, dropped off goodies and, with the help of the staff, had the occasional virtual call, despite her dad understanding it was a live call.
Kelly’s dad, like so many others, has been and continues to experience the effects of isolation. Among them, increased confusion, lack of interest in favored things and depression. We need to continue to find new ways to work through the changes, challenges, and all the small losses we seem to continually discover.
As Thanksgiving and the holidays approach, recognize that you, your children, grandchildren, parents, partner, spouse, everyone is experiencing the loss of the way things were. It is important we recognize and help others understand we are grieving the loss of simple routines, human interaction, connections, traditions, the way we lived our lives.
First, begin with yourself:
- Recognize you are experiencing loss in many ways
- Practice taking care of yourself
- Find someone you can talk to
- Accept that this holiday season is going to look and feel unusual
- Try something completely different this holiday season
- Allow yourself time and give yourself time
Ways to help others:
- Encourage others to express what they are feeling. There is no right or wrong in what we feel.
- Talk about the losses, what you miss
- Even though loved ones are not able to be together it is OK to laugh, to feel good and to have fun
- Talk about one small thing they can start doing for themselves, such as writing a letter, journaling, taking a walk, trying a new recipe or reading a new book.
- Recognize the holiday season this year will be different. Come up with something new you could do or try this year.
- Just sit, listen and be present with someone.
Kelly’s dad, like thousands of older adults and their families across Northeast Ohio, may not be able to share family routines and traditions as usual this holiday season. Recognizing the changes and losses may allow families to find new routines, traditions and ways to make the best of this holiday season.
Original Article: https://www.northeastohioboomer.com/blogger/turkey-covid-and-loss/