By: Jennifer Beach, LSW, MA, C-SWCM
A few days ago, I took a client to a medical appointment. On the way, we saw an advertisement for the holidays. You know the type of ad: a group of smiling, happy family and friends surrounded by sparkly decorations, beautifully wrapped gifts and delicious food. Her response when she saw it? “Oh, I hate to even think about the holidays; it is so hard when you are alone.”
Loneliness & Health
Every year, millions of people over 55 spend the holidays alone for many reasons: death of a spouse, parent or loved one; a loved one now lives in a long-term care facility or memory care; family estrangement, far-flung family members, money, divorce, separation; or they’re caring for a chronically ill loved one at home, to name a few.
Many older adults are not only alone but are lonely. Recalling past, more joy-filled holidays dredges sadness and grief and can exacerbate a sense of aloneness.
With family and friends no longer around, increased health and mobility issues, financial pressure and other challenges, some older adults are no longer able to fully participate in the holidays the way they used to or want to. November and December aren’t months to look forward to anymore; they’re triggers for depression or a sense of dread, better known as the holiday blues.
Researchers have documented that, at any time of the year, an absence or shortage of satisfying social and emotional ties can be harmful and even deadly to older adults. Loneliness and social isolation are serious public health concerns because they are linked to far-ranging health problems, including difficulty sleeping, poor cardiovascular health, high blood pressure, depressive symptoms, compromised immune function and dementia, each of which is linked with high mortality rates. We also know that the period from mid-November through New Year’s is especially tough for many solo older adults.
Time is our most valuable asset and giving just a little of it to others can be not only a gift to others but also to ourselves and our health. If you are alone or know someone who is, encourage them to try something different in at least one small way this holiday season.
If you’re the lonely one, try a one-time commitment to yourself this season and do one thing different this year. You can enrich your holiday and help others in simple ways, often from the comfort of your own home.
Get Started
- Call a friend or relative even if you haven’t called them in years and are not sure how they will respond. Why not reach out and say hello and let them know you were thinking about them? You may never get an opportunity to do it again. It will likely surprise them and boost both your day and theirs.
- If you do not decorate or celebrate holidays anymore, you may still have holiday decorations tucked away. Give a favorite ornament, Christmas decoration, a card or a family recipe to a loved one or neighbor. Don’t worry about a fancy box or wrapping paper. The recipient will most likely be touched and honored that you gave such a heartfelt gift.
- Invite someone over—even if your house isn’t guest-ready or decorated for the holidays. A neighbor, friend or family member you know who is alone may welcome your invitation and visit. Sharing your most valuable asset—your time—benefits everyone.
In study after study, researchers have found that people who volunteer and socialize lead longer, healthier, happier lives. Connect with an older adult in your life who may be alone this season. If you’re alone, reach out to someone.
Original Post: https://www.northeastohioboomer.com/topics/relationships/home-alone-solo-holidays/