By: Jennifer Beach, LSW, MA, C-SWCM
Sandy, 73, is divorced, has no children and is an only child. She’s a solo ager.
Active since her retirement six years ago, Sandy loves her part-time job at a local florist, volunteers at church, is an avid reader and enjoys walking in her neighborhood.
Recently, she has been short of breath on her walks; even ordinary tasks make her breathless. After a few medical appointments, her doctor determined that she needs mitral valve replacement.
What If?
As Sandy prepares for surgery, including finding someone to feed her cat and keep an eye on her home, many “What If?” questions go through her mind: What if something goes wrong with the surgery? What if I can’t come home by myself after the surgery? What if I need someone to stay with me after the surgery? How will I ensure my bills are paid?
Going through a medical event and or a multitude of situations as we age can be challenging, but solo aging is a different situation and more common than we may realize.
A growing portion of people 55 and older is composed of solos like Sandy. These are individuals who cannot or do not rely on family to help navigate life events and make health decisions. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 15.2 million Americans over 55 do not have children. Even those with biological children can end up effectively childless because of parental estrangement. (One family in eight admits there is no contact between generations.) And the older we get, the more likely we are to have lost a partner through death or divorce, so even those who are married may age alone. If you think about it, we could all become solo agers at some point.
Typically, a spouse, family member or adult child will provide support in the following areas as we age:
- Social and emotional support
- Recognition of problems
- Medical advocacy
- Transportation
- Housing and care decisions
- Managing finances
- Coordinating care
- Personal care
- End-of-life decisions and support
Like all older adults, solo agers must prepare financially for their later years and obtain legal documents (proxy decision-maker designations), otherwise known as power of attorney for both health care and financial decisions. The consequences are considerable if solos do not plan ahead and make arrangements; they could become wards of the court.
Here’s a game plan for solo agers:
- Prioritize retirement savings
- Look at all the possible housing options
- Assemble a team of professionals — an attorney, certified financial planner, geriatrician or primary medical provider and an aging life care manager
- Pay for services, locate community programs or make creative arrangements
- Address the realities of social isolation and cultivate ways to make and interact with friends
- Be proactive about health (physical, emotional and cognitive) and vigilant about addressing problems
- Recognize the need for and accept help — an especially difficult concept for independent people
Things can change quickly in life. Some individuals can say with certainty that they will be aging alone. Others may be confident in their current support systems, only to have divorce, estrangement, illness or death change their plans. The possibility of being a solo ager can be unpleasant to think about, but failing to consider and prepare for this scenario leaves you vulnerable to unnecessary hardships and stress.
Thinking, talking and taking steps now will help ensure you will not be isolated and helpless when facing the many challenges that come with aging. The best step for any of us, whether we are solo agers or simply aging, is to plan and put safeguards in place.
Original Article: https://www.northeastohioboomer.com/magazine/2023-editions/solo-agers-alone-prepared/